Dressing the Part

- May 4, 2017

Jae Madsen sat on a small couch in a small office, eyes latched firmly onto the floor before her, hands clenched tightly in her lap, fighting the urge to fidget. She couldn't help but think about what had brought her to this moment. She'd been happy, very happy to have moved to the habitats five years before. She loved working on children's educational programming, helping spread awareness about treating each other with kindness, sharing and how to live amicably in the habitats. She loved her work and even met Hiroki, her life partner. They'd made a full life for themselves with friends. She had no regrets about agreeing to move down here.

She didn't regret agreeing to take this new position. She hadn't thought much about it when Gerold Philby called her out of the blue in January; he'd always looked out for her ever since they'd first met. She and Alex were slowly warming towards each other and finding their spaces within their respective roles, Alex's as the Face of the Foundation and Jae's role as her producer.

They hadn't had enough time to settle into a working partnership, though; everything had been chaotic since the start and hadn't slowed down yet. Alex's first introduction to all the habitats was planned as a series of interviews on public newscasts timed to the liaison conference she would host here in six short weeks. At least six hundred people would be attending, over thirty attendees from every habitat. Clarissa had been working on housing logistics with Blaire Rondele and Marcel Albitbol, Mika's and Gerold's respective assistants.

The conference wasn't just the liaisons; every Foundation Board member and all the Habitat General Managers, along with their assistants, had decided to attend and hold their own meetings. Everyone would be present when Alex gave the keynote address and Jae wasn't sure they had anywhere near enough time to prepare her. Especially since her schedule for the next four weeks was bound to be as wild as the last.

It had been bad enough when Alex had insisted on holding listening meetings with groups of liaisons in every habitat. What made it worse was her insistence on adhering to the other habitat's work hours and deciding to repeat the same schedule again during private meetings with every Liaison Head! Jae tried to be flexible, scheduling work hours to match Alex's, which made Hiroki unhappy. And there was still so much to do! She had managed to cram in a crash course on casting over the last six weeks, teaching Alex how to read copy smoothly off a prompter and where to look when speaking on camera. There were still challenges; getting her to exaggerate facial expressions to show enough emotion for a camera to pick up was the biggest, but overall, she was becoming proficient. They needed to add local newscasts into her crowded schedule, and Jae still needed to prepare her for speeches and interviews. As for the Pharos Project, well, it was bound to ramp up after the conference.

Things had calmed down slightly when Clarissa began working as Alex's assistant a few weeks after the Hanlons had moved down. Clarissa was efficient and personable, organizing Alex's schedule, figuring out the best way to keep track of meetings scheduled across time zones and willing to work more than required when necessary. It was obvious Clarissa was becoming more than just an assistant; Alex was beginning to trust her. Clarissa was protective of Alex and made it a priority to schedule downtime for her, which made Jae's job slightly harder. But Alex was a true introvert who couldn't manage without significant amounts of alone time during her waking hours. Jae wondered what had compelled Alex to accept a position requiring her to interact so much with others.

She sighed and focused on the real issue, Gerold. He had been calling her incessantly and prying into what was happening with Alex in a way she was uncomfortable with. And he had been doing it since Alex accepted Jae as her producer. Gerold was NAHE's General Manager of Habitat Administration. It would have been so much simpler if Gerold wasn't in such an important position. She couldn't talk about the issue with Alex, and there was no one else who might be able to step in.

And it wasn't just the prying calls; what made it even worse were the suggestions he constantly made, just like the clothes rack placed next to the chair beside Jae, the one Jae was so pointedly ignoring even though it overwhelmed an already crowded office. He had relentlessly insisted she present the clothing on the racks to Alex. Clothing, he informed her, he had personally chosen for Alex. She had finally agreed just to stop the relentless calls and texts. And it had to be now. Alex was between the listening and management meetings, but not for long. At this point, Jae just wanted to get it over with.

She heard the sound of the door between Alex's home and office and then someone walking toward the hallway. Jae refused to look at the doorway and instead made a show of examining the rack. Everything on it was well-cut and well-made; she had to acknowledge the facts. The wool, thread, everything had been created right here in the habitat—the same with the dyes used. No one wanted the skills they brought with them to wither for lack of use, so while there weren't many of these clothes around, they were appreciated. However, the clothes on this rack weren't what those artisans usually produced for sale around the habitat. The styling on the rack was retro, seeming to reflect a time when clothing was extremely body-conscious and, as far as Jae could tell, consisted of assorted tops, skirts and dresses. She had never seen anyone wear this aesthetic on any floor in any section she had been to, and nothing on the rack reflected anything close to what Alex usually wore.

She heard Alex say, "Clarrisa, could you please set up a video call with Gerold as soon as possible?"

Clarissa's reply was clear, "I'll let you know."

Jae heard, "Thank you," and Alex appeared in the doorway where Jae sat waiting, her dark brown and wavy hair pulled into a ponytail high on the back of her head.

She had to admit Gerold had a point; Alex's current wardrobe wasn't appropriate for her responsibilities. She was still wearing the clothes she had brought from the surface and they just felt wrong on her; super intense was not a good match with airy/floaty. Jae had yet to see Alex in any clothing typical for the habitat, but she felt awkward pointing it out. She could just imagine Alex would feel similarly to how Jae would have if the roles were reversed, and Jae hated feeling humiliated. So she'd just avoided saying anything until today when, thanks to Gerold, it was all going to explode out in the open.

Jae wished with all her heart she could be anywhere but here. Alex was going to believe Jae wanted her to dress this way. She felt used and manipulated by Gerold, but she didn't have time to pay much attention to her own feelings. She had to focus on what was in front of her. Jae'd been in enough similar situations to know what was coming, so she braced herself, waiting for the outburst.

There was none. Without a word, Alex went over to the rack and went through the clothes. She examined everything on the rack, moving each item to the other side after a brief gaze. She lingered briefly over two, holding a skirt woven in stubby threads of blue and yellow up and examining the lovely raised check pattern. Jae looked at the skirt and thought it would come to just above the knees, but with its body-conscious silhouette, Alex would require shapewear underneath. After all, almost everyone Alex's age could use some help; maybe Jae could persuade her to join a body-shaping program.

Alex finished her inspection and walked over to sit at her desk. Still not saying a word, she fixed her unreadable gaze on Jae, who fought the urge to fidget in the silence. Jae finally gave up and asked, "Well, what do you think?"

Alex spoke quietly. "I think they're well made, and while I'm sure there are those down here who would choose to wear them, I'm not one of them." The words were spoken with little emotion behind them and no expression on her face. Alex could have made a lot of money playing poker, Jae thought; if she had any tells, they were hard to pick up on.

"Alex," Jae started to launch into some of the arguments Gerold had made to her, but Alex raised her hand to stop her.

"Jae, I'm well aware I need new clothing, and I know nothing I brought with me is fit for any of the public-facing work I'll be doing. But these aren't it." She got up and returned to the rack, "There are several reasons, but most importantly and the only reason which matters is I don't like them and choose not to wear them." Alex then pulled out the skirt she had examined thoroughly a few moments ago and began to dissect it minutely.

"Animal fibers are much too warm for me, and this skirt is designed to be constrictive, which I dislike. There's no give and almost no back slit; considering where it lands, it will limit my stride. Why would I choose to hobble myself?" She turned the skirt so Jae could see the other side and said matter-of-factly, "The style seems straight out of someone's adolescent masturbatory fantasies. It's exaggerated to call attention to someone wearing it in a way indicating they're prey. Not the type of clothing I would choose to wear." ₍₁₎

Clarissa came to the doorway; slim and athletic, Jae admired how the green in her top complimented her tan skin.

"Alex, Gerold is available."

"Wonderful," Alex carried the skirt back to her desk, "Jae, Clarissa, I'd appreciate your staying for this." Clarissa gazed at the clothes lined up neatly on the rack as she moved to sit next to Jae. They watched as Alex sat at her desk with the screen and camera in front of her. A screen appeared on the wall facing the two women, and all three of their images appeared in separate boxes. Gerold's head appeared on the screen, and a red dot indicated the meeting was being recorded. His skin looked washed out, and the top of his head was shiny; Jae thought he looked anxious and wished she were anywhere else. She couldn't see any way out for her, no matter what. As Alex's producer, her public look was Jae's responsibility. No matter what, someone with authority over her was going to get angry. She fought the urge to fidget and stared at the screen before her fixedly.

"Alex!" Gerold's tone was forced and overly jovial. He was always pleasant and cheery; it was how he spoke regularly to nearly everyone he interacted with. But this tone had underlayers and didn't feel entirely authentic; Jae realized he always used this tone when speaking to Alex or even about her. "How do you like the newscasting clothes I asked Jae to bring? Aren't they great?"

"No"

Just one word said firmly and quietly. From the corner of her eye, Jae saw Clarissa turn away from the screen, raising her hand to hide her mouth.

Gerold's forehead began to glisten. "But Alex, those clothes are perfect for you. By their very quality, they emphasize your importance. I commissioned them especially from habitat artisans following surface traditions, from shearing the appropriate animals to spinning the fibers, hand dying and creating the cloth or yarn." He paused. "Most residents could only afford one special item. I'm giving you an entire wardrobe! I must insist you accept."

"No."

Gerold's smile disappeared as he pulled himself straighter in his chair. "Do you honestly believe anyone would think you're qualified for your position if you showed up on a newscast wearing your usual," he paused, "costume?" He caught himself, and his tone became cajoling. "Alex, surely you understand how important it is to dress for your position. Your clothing will be an outward demand for respect, but even more importantly, the residents of NAHE will expect it from you. You wouldn't want to disappoint them, would you?"

Jae winced. This condescending and high-handed approach might usually work for Gerold, but it wouldn't work with Alex, who had an uncanny ability to know when emotions were sincere and preferred working with facts and logic.

She watched as Alex considered Gerold carefully, "So Gerold, are you telling me there's a standard of dress all newscasters follow?" She turned from the camera, "Jae, do you have a copy of these standards?"

Jae could see Gerold beginning to glower on the screen. She winced inside and answered honestly, "I don't have a copy; I've never been told of standards for newscasters."

"I see," Alex turned back to her screen, "Gerold, I'd appreciate being sent a copy of the requirements. I'd like to avoid wearing anything deemed inappropriate by those standards." Her gaze on the screen was intense and piercing, and Jae had to keep reminding herself it wasn't aimed at her.

"Well, no, we don't have a standard set out exactly, but…"

"Who picks out the other newscaster's wardrobe, Gerold?"

"Umm, I don't know." Jae saw the top of his head sparkle as light began to reflect on the drops of moisture appearing.

Alex continued, "But you have personally decided on the clothing I should wear? Why am I getting such special treatment?"

Gerold's mouth opened and then shut, and he reached for a soft cloth to mop his head and face. Jae didn't blame him. She suddenly felt a lot hotter, too.

Alex persisted. "Gerold, while I'm sure you have the best of intentions, I believe this idea is bad for several reasons. First and foremost, I don't need a reason to dress however I please. As you just admitted, there is no clothing standard for newscasting, and I've seen no conformity of clothing styles in any of the newscasts I've been studying, local or otherwise. Second, you have no authority over me in any of my positions."

Gerold sat up, seemingly eager to restore himself. "Habitat Administration does produce the newscasts, you know, which does give me authority."

"Gerold, you have no authority over me. Since I've come to live here, I've learned the recruitment process for my position is global, and the hosting habitat would depend on where the person was found, which is why I was recruited into NAHE. Under what authority could one general manager of one habitat assume authority over the Director or anyone else serving in the Liaisons? If I am under any authority, it would be that of the Foundation Board, and I assure you, no one on the Board has mentioned anything about my clothing choices to me." Gerold shrank back into his chair.

"Your reasons for attempting to control the clothing of my outer persona are irrelevant, and your attempt to do so is unacceptable. Even when viewed as positively as I can, your actions are disrespectful toward me as an individual. Seen through another filter, there could be an argument for your actions to be seen as violations of the Charter."

Jae clenched her fists and fought to keep a stoic expression; she could see Clarissa's cheek twitching from the corner of her eye.

Alex held something up in front of her, and Jae saw it was the skirt she had brought to her desk earlier. "The clothing you tell me you personally assembled seems to reflect your idea of what a female executive should wear, most likely influenced by the media of your adolescent years from a time when clothing reflected a woman's power coming from a man. I choose not to perpetuate misconceptions, including the misconception that clothing imbues any power or authority upon its wearer. I have no intention of being a reason our society moves backward." ₍₂₎

She let the skirt fall onto her desk, and it disappeared from the screen. Gerold kept silent, his lips and eyes tightly compressed. Jae was glad this was a video call. She was always nervous around angry people; she'd always found it much easier to be brave from a distance.

"Before we continue this conversation about the clothing I find in my office, I'd like to briefly bring up my original reason for requesting this call. I'm informing you as general manager there is a need to reorganize and streamline communication points between Habitat Admin and the Liaisons. I'm doing this across the habitats since I've heard issues regarding those points from nearly every meeting I've attended. Clarissa will send every general manager a list of the departments whose assistance we require to fulfill our mandate. I'm requesting each general manager to make the heads of those departments available to negotiate with those from our side who are familiar with the processes involved to arrive at a short-term solution. I've decided to announce this re-organization at the conference and would appreciate all Habitat Administration's participation."

After jotting a note on the tablet she held, Clarissa straightened up and stared directly at Gerold, probably to see his reaction, Jae thought a little hysterically. Alex continued, "To free up those who work most closely with our clients, I'm implementing an immediate directive whereby all calls from Habitat upper management are rerouted to their equal in responsibility within our organization. This means Gerold, all your calls will be received by Mika. I trust you will treat her as your equal in all ways."

Ouch. Alex was being harsh, throwing it all in Gerold's face. Jae wondered if she could ask Alex if they could work out a similar arrangement regarding Gerold's calls to her. But then all of Gerold's calls would get routed to who? Alex? Clarissa? Awkward!

But maybe if Gerold replayed this meeting a few times after he stopped being embarrassed and thought about things, he'd understand what Alex was telling him. Jae doubted it, though. Not many men his age got over stuff so intrinsic to themselves.

Jae had never seen Gerold look so dejected. She wasn't surprised; she doubted anyone other than Effie had ever asserted even a hint of authority over him. But he had just been reminded he was just one of twenty, while Alex was unique. His ego was taking a hit, and Jae wondered who he would lash out at and what form it would take. She'd had experience with these situations, which always happened whenever a man was embarrassed in front of others.

Alex continued, "Speaking of equals, I'm striving to be known as equal to everyone who lives here, regardless if I appear as the Face of the Foundation, the Liaison Director or just myself, Alex. I prefer to live down here with as much normality as possible. I will tell you I plan on asking Jae to help me find suitable attire for the newscasts. After all, she is my producer and understands the needs of a studio environment." She paused and then smiled, "And since it seems you are willing for the habitat to absorb the costs of my newscasting wardrobe as a business expense, I'm perfectly willing to accept your gracious offer and allow you to purchase items I will wear on the newscast. However, I insist on paying for anything I purchase for my other duties or personal use."

"Is there anything else you'd like to say, Gerold?" Alex sat quietly at her desk, hands resting in front of her, waiting for a response. Jae was tense, and then, for less than a second, an emotion Jae identified as determination came plainly over Alex's face.

Gerold must have caught her look; he went from looking dejected to deflated. "I understand, Alex. I'll ask Marcel to compile a list for Clarissa, and we'll go through the proper channels to set up an appropriate budget for Jae in the future. But I'm sure whatever you purchase to wear for the newscasts until the budget is established will be covered."

Jae worked hard to keep a straight face. Gerold had said it himself; the rack held a lot of expensive clothes for down here. If her budget were even half of what she estimated, Alex would have plenty of styles and designs to choose from.

"Thank you for understanding, Gerold; I hope you have a good rest of your day."

The video windows closed, and Alex turned towards Jae and Clarissa.

Jae didn't want to talk about or go anywhere near what had just happened. Alex had spanked Gerold thoroughly and factually. Would it stick? Would it last? She shrugged it off; none of it mattered now. Alex had opened a door and agreed to go shopping. Maybe she could use it as a way to thread through the awkwardness. "I'm happy to help you buy these newscasting clothes, but I can help you more if I understand what's happening. Could you explain why you've been here for almost two months and still wear surface clothes?"

A smiling Clarissa rose, "If you don't need me."

Alex looked at her, "Please sit down, Clarissa; of course, I need you, and the more you learn about me, the easier it will be to work together." Clarissa resumed her seat, and Alex continued. "The long and the short of it is I tried shopping the day before I began working. Since then, I haven't had the time or the inclination to even try shopping for clothes.

Jae listened as Alex told her story.

"Before we moved here, Kevin and I spent a few weeks driving and visiting friends and family to say goodbye. I had shipped all of what I thought of as my more professional clothing, and by the time we got here, all the boxes were crammed into the smallest room in our house. I couldn't figure out what any of the boxes held, and I just didn't have time. Everything I brought with us needed to be washed, and nothing was appropriate for what I was about to do.

"I needed to jump right in, so I scheduled my first meetings as soon as I could, which gave me only one free day, unlike Kevin, who had the usual two weeks in order to acclimate. We were both ready to explore a little and decided to use my one day on Mercantile. We wandered around Stores, upgrading and purchasing some new furniture we needed for the house. Kevin decided to go with me when I told him I wanted to find a new outfit, and we walked further in until I found a clothing store with a screen in front showing clothes I found appealing.

"I've always felt constrained whenever Kevin and I go somewhere, and I decided to go into a clothing store. He would usually choose to wait for me outside, and I was always conscious he was out there, waiting patiently and probably bored, so I would limit my time. And sure enough, once I found the store, he decided to stay outside and wait. When I went through the door, I just wanted to find something appropriate for my meetings the next day and get out as quickly as possible.

"I began to feel even more stressed once I stepped inside, and my expectations clashed with reality. At first glance, it seemed so familiar. It looked like smaller boutiques I had shopped at on the surface. I could understand the samples of clothes arranged above racks of the same in different sizes. What I couldn't understand was where the colors had gone. Since we'd been here for the tour, everyone I've ever seen wears clothes with different colors and patterns, and that's what I wanted: something similar to what I had seen on the screen outside. Instead, everything on those walls and racks was white or light beige. The person behind the counter was big and somewhat intimidating, and I didn't feel comfortable asking questions; I just wanted to find something to wear.

"There was a display rack with normal-looking clothes between the counter and what I assumed was a fitting room. I tried to get to the rack, but the salesperson kept herding me back to the walls. I couldn't understand what they were saying. They had a thick accent, but some words made no sense. It sounded like English, but not really.

"I finally managed to get to the rack and took an outfit I had been eyeing to hold against me to see if it might fit. I heard something rip, and the sound set the salesperson off. I couldn't understand what I had done; I could only apologize and offer to buy what I had torn. I couldn't see any rips and it did look like I would fit into it, so I'm sure I would have bought it regardless. The entire situation was upsetting and not something I'm anxious to repeat, even if I ever had enough time to try." Alex sat back and looked at both of them.

"What did the clothing you bought look like?" Clarissa had a sympathetic look on her face.

"It was an asymmetrical purple ombre tunic with loose sleeves ending at my elbow on top and a pair of slacks cut straight with the same ombre shading. The material was soft and flowing, I liked how it felt and for the message it sent about me."

Jae perked up. "And the message is?" She still found Alex hard to read, so any information given was welcome, especially if Jae wanted their working future to be amicable. If it hadn't been obvious before, today cemented an indisputable truth. Alex was in charge of Alex.

"I believe I've told both of you I'm empathic."

As the women nodded, Alex continued, "It means I'm extremely sensitive to other's emotions to the point where I maintain an energetic shield protecting me in most situations. Unfortunately, my shield works both ways and when it's in place, I struggle to project my emotions past it. Because of this, almost everyone finds it difficult to reach a subconscious assessment of me, which, in turn, makes them uncomfortable.

"Over my lifetime, I've learned everyone associates what we receive from another as a combination of our spoken and unspoken language, those facial expressions, postures and gestures we use in an intricate dance of communication and connection. We also project our emotions onto each other, whether we're aware of the exchange or not. These emotions affect us and influence our feelings toward each other. Especially when we're judging who someone is. So, without those usual emotions for someone to perceive on any level, it's hard to get a feel for who I am.

"I decided years ago to dress the closest I could come to expressing how I feel inside myself, with the hope at least some people who meet me will be able to use the information when forming their first impression."

Jae could understand wanting to make a good first impression.

"Because of this, people's first impression of me is that I am reserved, intense, and for some reason, judgemental. I'd like them to know I'm compassionate and kind, and while quiet, I care and try to see deeply. It's a lot to ask of clothing, I know. I want to project kindness and compassion, so I like dressing in soft materials with less construction and more draping."

Okay, that made some sense, but then Alex kept going, sharing more than she had in the last six weeks total.

"I like the feeling when my clothes are loose and flowing. I also find it far more comfortable at this age than anything tight or constrictive. I have what you might call texture issues, and I have definite opinions on the subject. When it comes to textiles, some are just too annoying for me to wear: too heavy, too stiff, too bumpy, too scratchy, and too intrusive in my consciousness. My clothing has to be unnoticeable for the most part. I don't need the annoyance of how something feels against my skin to intrude in my head constantly.

"Much of the clothing I've found fitting my requirements matches what's commonly known as the bohemian style. But it isn't entirely appropriate for me since it's mostly aimed at being incredibly waiflike and sexy or layered into something far too bulky and heavy, making me feel ridiculous. So I've had to mix and match, which hasn't always been successful."

Alex stopped and looked at them expectantly, waiting for a response. Jae wanted to sigh but suppressed the urge. At least one question was answered, but what do to about it? What kind of response would be best? Sympathy and connection first, she decided.

"I'm sorry you went through an upsetting experience. Shopping for clothes here is different from how we shopped on the surface." She thought for a moment, "Let's start at the beginning. You know everything is recyclable down here, right? It's set up to keep us self-sustaining for as long as necessary."

At Alex's nod, she continued. "Most dyes are out since they're chemicals; not only are they too bulky to store in the quantities we would need, but they aren't recyclable either. The Foundation specifically recruited various ancient reenactment groups to be sure we retain the crafts so we might use them in the future. Some of these artisans make clothing using ancient methods, shearing animals, dying their fibers with plant-based dyes and creating cloth or yarn. We preserve the skills by using them and," she indicated the rack filled with rejected clothing, "while this collection doesn't reflect it, the clothing they usually make is unique and better suited to habitat living.

"For the most part, our clothing is recyclable and versatile. Textiles and most surfaces contain special micro light-emitting diodes, each able to modify its spectrum to include any hue, saturation and intensity within the visible color range. We use light instead of dyes, increasing everything's versatility. We can change the patterns and images on our walls, creating screens showing images, videos, and anything else we can store digitally. These lights color our furniture, our housewares and our clothing. Everything can be programmed to any imaginable design we choose. We can easily change most of our home items; designing something ourselves or applying a licensable or open-source design from the library. Preview the design, and lock it in once you decide to use it.

"On the surface, everyone buys clothing by color, pattern, size and style. We always hope to find the perfect piece, and most of the time, we never do; we settle. We might like some aspects but not others. For most of us, something's always off; we might love the style but dislike the color or patterns. Or it's perfect except for how it feels when we wear it, especially when nothing is made well for our particular body shape. Surface manufacturing requirements are competitive, and only those who match a designer's specific vision or a small subset of body measurements a retailer thinks will be profitable are rewarded. Which leaves the rest of us feeling defeated and worthless."

She saw both Alex and Clarissa nod at the observation. It didn't surprise her; almost everyone she knew had experienced something like it.

"But we shouldn't fit the clothes; the clothes should fit us. We aren't clones to be stuffed into variations, only made for one size and scaled to fit. So when we shop for clothes here, we first look at the physical styles. Seeing our samples without embellishment lets us first distinguish the most crucial aspect: how the fabric feels and how the construction fits. Once we've satisfied the essential criteria, we can license new designs or apply those we can already access.

"We can do this for almost everything in our homes, and knowing we can change how something looks means we don't exchange things before their usefulness ends. We can change how a specific pair of pants or a top looks by applying colors and patterns composed of light. Have you ever wondered about the strange-looking plug inside your closet?"

Alex thought about it. "No, I haven't. Every closet in the house is stuffed full of boxes I haven't had time to go through, and I've never looked in the closets on this side."

Jae nodded, "Okay, now I understand why it hasn't come up. Almost everyone coming down asks about the strange plugs." She continued with her explanation, "Those plugs are part of the programming transfer interface, commonly called PTI, a way to program the visual qualities you've chosen onto individual or groups of items. Some areas, such as floors or cabinets, can transmit to stationary or semi-stationary objects like furniture and tableware straight through the interface. But small toys, textiles, clothing, and accessories are more ephemeral. The plugs allow us to connect those items so designs can be transferred. You can order basic cables from Stores, but I'd suggest spending a few units on an upgrade. It's always a popular discussion in the new resident feeds, and I'm sure Clarissa and I both have opinions on what will make your life easier."

Jae paused and asked, "Do you want me to continue?"

Alex gave her another unreadable look, "Please, I'm finding this fascinating."

Jae continued, "So, with all that, it's pretty easy to change a design on almost anything. Go through samples available through the library and look at designs; some you need to license, but a lot are free to use. Or come up with a design yourself. You can preview them and lock them in once you're ready.

"When shopping for clothing, we typically look first at the physical item itself. We work with the most essential aspect, deciding which styles we feel good in. All the unlit clothing you saw on the walls were displays of the styles over the racks of samples. We find our sample size in the rack and try it on. Only when we decide we like something enough to order it do we choose different designs and colors to complement the style."

Alex was still unreadable, but Jae decided to wrap it up: "The items closer to the counter were samples of the design only—each physical item reflecting a design and color complementing its style. Many clothing co-ops have clothing and pattern designers who work together to bundle several designs and colors with each piece ordered. Almost all of our clothing, besides basic items from Stores, are made to order. It helps reduce waste."

Alex sighed, "I understand why the storekeeper was upset; I was doing things out of the order of their expectations. But I had no idea." She looked directly at Jae. "I keep telling everyone the best way to figure out what classes we'll need for new residents is to ask me about something. If I look blank, then the answer is yes." She smiled ruefully. "This conversation answered questions I wasn't even aware I had yet."

Clarissa looked somber, her hazel eyes soft with compassion, "You got thrown in the deep end of the pool, Alex. When I got here, I met some of my neighbors, and they took me around and showed me how things work."

Jae nodded, thinking back to the time she moved in. "Me too. My neighbors were great about getting me up to speed."

Alex said, "I wish I'd had the time for it to have been my experience." She sat for a moment and then continued, "It's obvious I need clothes before I start the newscasts, and it should also be pretty obvious I'll need some hand-holding after my last try." She stopped and took a deep breath, "Would both of you be willing to go shopping with me? Jae, this would be a working trip, and Clarrisa, I'd like you to join me as well. I'll need advice on clothing appropriate for the Liaisons and my personal life."

And so Jae found herself, along with Clarissa, agreeing to take Alex shopping.

"A few shops in this quadrant specialize in styles I'm hoping will come close to what you're looking for, Alex. I figured we'd get you measured first and then really start shopping. Once we reach the inner circle, we can come back here for lunch and then continue working our way northeast. Clarissa, you said you had a few places over there you thought Alex would like?"

Clarissa's shiny shoulder-length brown hair bounced slightly as she nodded, exposing lighter and darker strands with her movements, "Yes, I've got a few places in mind."

Alex nodded and changed the subject, "I had an idea and wanted to bring it up. If you agree, it might streamline our day, and I wouldn't have to worry about doing this repeatedly. Do either of you know who Rachel Maddow is?" ₍₃₎

Jae nodded, "You mean the news anchor on the cable network? Yeah, oh…" Rachel Maddow had a reputation for being her own person and ignoring the popular conventions of clothing choices while reporting. She always wore the same drab outfit on the air, a dark blazer over a dark collarless shirt.

Alex nodded, " I admire her because she promotes what's important rather than capturing the focus herself. Wearing the same thing on each newscast would put me in the background and have viewers focus on what I'm saying rather than what I'm wearing. It could also be a way of signaling when I'm in public or private mode." She looked wistfully at the cup of coffee in front of her, "I guess I can't, though, especially after what I said about dressing my outside to match my internal self. I just wish there was a different way instead of having to shop over and over again."

Jae replied, "I can understand the thought process, but you're right; blending in isn't exactly what your position calls for. How you'll be perceived will be a focus when acting as the Face of the Foundation, and you'll have to stand out and be recognizable."

"Besides," Clarissa added, "everything we buy can display different designs and color combinations. You won't have to shop as often as you think."

Jae mused, "Maybe we can differentiate something you wear to let others know whether you're working or on your personal time. Something to signal when you're approachable and when you aren't? Maybe a signature color you only wear when you're working? It should be strong and bright, something no one would have trouble mistaking. What do you think of red?"

Alex was silent momentarily and then answered, "I like the idea of wearing something to show I'm working, but it can't just be color. No colors, vibrant or pale, appear the same to everyone. Different forms of color blindness affect our color cones, and each color cone affects sight differently. For some, what we see as bright is dark or muddy to them, and there are cases where some colors appear the same. You say we can add patterns with light, right? Could we design clothing, scarves, or headbands with a repeating symbol or emblem?" She mused, "I could pick something and apply my pattern; the colors wouldn't matter. As long as I wear something with the symbol, I'm approachable." ₍₄₎

"Patterns could easily work," exclaimed Jae, "I never thought about other people not seeing colors the same way."

"It's gotten better, but historically, very few take disabilities into consideration when making these types of decisions," Alex said quietly. "Disabilities seem to only matter if the person affected is yourself or someone you love."

Finishing their drinks, they left the Eatery and headed to the travel corridor, ready for their day on the Mercantile floor. Jae had always enjoyed her time down there, browsing for suitable objects for the children's show she used to produce. Like the restaurants on Culinary, Mercantile stores had signage and image displays, some even mimicking actual windows, letting those outside see what was happening indoors. The buildings holding Stores were the largest, occupying the same general area on Mercantile as the Eateries did on Culinary. They let the walkway carry them further along.

"I know you were in Stores before. But I don't know if you're aware they carry more than furniture and home goods. In some ways, it mimics a general store carrying lots of items including basic hygienic care and ready-made basic clothing comfortable for home or working out. We can either stop there at the end of the day or order clothes once we have your measurements. I can show you how to pick out and transfer patterns, too," Clarissa offered. "Now that I know you need help, I'll gladly help you acclimate."

"Thank you, Clarissa," Alex said, "I appreciate your offer, and I guarantee I'll take you up on it."

There was a tenseness to Alex Jae hadn't seen before. Her steps were stiffer, arms held by her sides, she looked like she was dreading the day. Once they were off the walkway, they turned onto a path winding its way around benches set under small trees along a wall of shops, each differentiated by the light and pattern surrounding the individual displays and doors beckoning them inside. Jae stopped at one, its exterior lit in golds and oranges with hints of purples and greens interspersed on the edges. An image overlaid the colors, showing a faceless, bald mannequin whose skin tone changed hues as Jae looked. It was dressed in a tank top and a long slim skirt rising just above the ankles, softly draped in colors ranging from blues to purples. A whisper-thin, almost transparent jacket with a floral pattern glowing in the same colors completed the ensemble. A chime sounded further in the shop as they went through the door.

This clothing co-op was similar in almost every way to the one Alex had previously described. The flooring showed a quiet hexagonal pattern in a neutral color to avoid distractions. Clothes were displayed along most of the walls and above racks arranged around the middle of the floor. For the most part, the styles Jae saw were white, draped and loose, with tops and bottoms and one-piece clothing displaying their different characteristics. It was a bright and sterile environment, with everything focused on the craftsmanship of the styles and then as much attention possible to the design and colors in the fitting process.

"We have two basic cloth types in differing weights," Jae said as she took on the role of tour guide. "When unlit, those appearing beige are made from more structured cloths, with less give, while white items are softer, with more drape." A shopkeeper came out in response to the chime and she explained Alex was new to the habitats and needed to be measured.

Jae and Clarissa explored the shop while Alex went through the process in one of the fitting rooms. Most of the samples in this co-op were designed to be comfortable for those with curves, and Jae hoped they could make a good start on Alex's wardrobe here, not just for the newscasts. Alex wanted to fit in with everyone in the habitats, and dressing the part would help.

"Well, that was thorough, " Alex said as she exited the room. "How often should I expect to subject myself to this ordeal?"

"You'll go through it again when your sample size doesn't fit anymore or can't easily be taken in during the fitting process," Clarissa advised, making sure the sample codes were entered into Alex's profile through her interface and sending them to herself and Jae.

Clarissa showed Alex how to use her mobile device to scan the code next to a style she liked and how the proper sample size would light up softly, glowing among the others of its kind. Jae realized it was these little things making shopping here so much easier. You never had to think about your specific size or how you compared to anyone else. Sizeism was still there in attitudes, but at least it was lessening on a systemic level. She remarked, "I've always loved how the perfect size just magically appears, and I don't have to even think about it when I shop."

"Have you ever looked at your measurements?" Alex asked curiously.

"I did when I first came down," offered Clarissa. "I was really body-conscious before, and in some ways, I still am, but back then, I would constantly spend hours at the gym and track my food intake and measurements. When I first came down, I was getting measured weekly for the data; it was easy enough to find on my private profile. About six months in, I started working with a therapist, and one of their first recommendations was not to worry about my measurements and just let the interface find my sample. I learned it's time to get new measurements and weigh myself when my clothes stop fitting, or the interface's choice is out of wack with my reality."

Jae answered, "I don't look either now; I think most of us do at the beginning, but at least for me, it helps not to have a constant litany of you're not perfect going through my head whenever I shop for clothes. Try being a bridesmaid where the bride wants everyone to match exactly, but one person is lean, slim and practically six feet tall, and then there's me, 5'4 with curves everywhere." She shuddered, remembering, then perked up.

"Here, I don't have to worry about it. Sure, there are some styles I can't wear, but it's the same for everybody. Everyone gets a good selection, even if it's not the same selection. Oh, and for what it's worth, no one getting married down here cares about the matchy-match in anything but color or pattern."

They split up to start gathering some samples. When they returned to the fitting room, Jae noticed she and Clarissa had more samples than Alex. She sighed and hoped it didn't become a pattern.

"I'm having a hard time without color and patterns. I can't visualize the clothes on me or how they would look, and I guess I'm getting overwhelmed," Alex explained, giving a slight laugh, "I need to build up my shopping stamina."

The fitting room was large enough for all three of them, and Alex tried on clothes at Jae's and Clarissa's direction, paying attention to how the clothes felt on her before caring about their outward appearance. She ended up discarding most of them, and by the time she finished, only four items remained.

Jae examined the approved styles. Alex had kept most of the items she had chosen: a light shawl collared blazer, a pair of softly flaring slacks, and a long sleeveless draped dress. She also kept one of Clarissa's picks: a tunic whose sleeves mimicked a cape. "Are these for work, the newscast or your personal clothes?"

"Nothing appealed to me personally, but I'm not worried since I don't have much personal time requiring anything fancier than my regular clothes. Everything I've chosen is for my official duties, and I thought the blazer and pants would work well for the newscasts in particular."

Jae hoped this first shop would help Alex become comfortable with the process and caught Clarissa trying to hide a smile. She was glad Clarissa had come with them; she was more tuned into Alex and better understood Alex's requirements. From all her experience in children's programming, Jae knew what made for an accomplished administrative assistant, and Alex had surely lucked out with Clarissa. But why was she smiling now?

They wandered into a few other places and, if anything, fared even worse. They ordered very little and Alex seemed to be getting more uncomfortable, not less, while Clarissa kept checking the time.

Back on Culinary, they found a small counter serving various Peruvian small plates. Jae had never sampled this cuisine; she thought it was all delicious. Every dish featured corn or potatoes. There were tamales, and the taste of the peppers and cilantro mixed in the corn dough around the pork came through with every bite. They ordered a salad of tomatoes, avocado, and sweet potatoes dressed in cilantro crema. They shared a causa limeña, the peppery mashed and compressed potatoes enclosing a tangy salad of hard-boiled eggs and avocado. It was all delicious, and by common agreement, no one talked about their shopping experience. They concentrated on their food and shared their opinions on what they liked the best.

Once they returned to Mercantile, Clarissa led them through what Jae thought of as the home quadrant. Jae only hoped Alex liked the next places better than the ones earlier. They didn't have nearly enough clothing ordered.

They made their way from the interior of the quadrant and walked the paths further in until Clarissa led them into a store. Once inside, Jae wasn't sure what kind of co-op it was; it looked like nothing she had seen before. The interior intimidated the hell out of her. The lighting was a subtle cream color, casting a warm glow over the light gray walls. Small groups of seating, embellished in gold and black encircled a cylindrical screen, each showcasing the word "Kyros" on its otherwise transparent surface.

Where were the samples? Jae saw the shopkeeper come into the room and walk toward their little group. She studied them, short and slim, probably close to Jae's age, with their face surrounded by light brown hair worn short and framed by a large pair of dark-rimmed glasses.

"Alex, Jae, I'd like you to meet Chris; he's the lead designer for this co-op." Clarissa made the introductions. "Chris, I've told you a bit about Alex; she's having a hard time finding clothes today. And this is Jae. She's Alex's producer and is here because we need clothes for Alex for two different types of work situations."

Chris greeted them and led them to one of the small seating areas. As Jae walked around to an empty seat, the word "Kyros" floated in the middle, clear and easily read. As she sat down, the word floated to the top of the screen, and she could see everyone clearly.

"Clarissa and I go way back; we knew each other up top. I was a fashion designer with my own line, dressing celebrities for special occasions. I met her when I dressed her boss back then. Who shall remain nameless, 'cause just like Clarissa, I don't kiss and tell about work. Especially down here." He turned to Alex, "Clarissa told me there will be times when you'll need something to properly reflect the situation you're in and special occasion clothing happens to be this co-op's focus."

Jae nodded; Alex was going to need what Chris was offering. More than one occasion would happen at some point, and they should be prepared. She knew they needed something for the Liaison conference in six weeks. She decided to hold off thinking about any of the other situations where Alex might need something special to wear. There was plenty of time to see if Alex's first prediction happened before worrying about the rest. Or was there?

Chris continued, "I can also help beyond special occasions. I'm passionate about clothing and how it speaks to those around us. Living here, I want to help people find clothing fitting their individual selves. I don't want anyone to feel they have to dress for an expected class, station, or position. Who's job is it to detail what a person wears for a certain type of work, anyway? Consensual self-expression should be encouraged. And I'd like to help you find your self-expression through clothing. Once I've seen what you've already chosen for yourself, I can recommend a few other co-ops we can partner with, and we can go from there."

Alex looked puzzled. "Is this a service you offer everyone? Why would you offer to do this for me?"

"Not anyone who asks sugar, but I do it for my friends, and Clarissa is my friend. She asked me to help. Here's me helping." He leaned forward. "Whether you like it or not, you're going to end up as someone known and talked about. You know it; It's part of your job.

"Style and fashion are still important down here, and we like to express ourselves, whether we show hard edges, fuzzy lines, or macabre color themes. Almost everything goes. We use our clothes to tell a story about ourselves, and I believe a coherent story will serve you better than a chaotic bouncing back and forth between fads.

"I'm sure everyone sitting here knows there will be times when your clothes have to send a specific message. But with any luck, those times will be few and far between, and I'm more interested in helping craft the day-to-day story you want to tell everyone."

He glanced at what she was wearing: comfortable walking sandals, a pair of beige linen pants, now wrinkled, and a salmon crocheted poncho pullover top." I don't know you yet, and I don't know your tastes and preferences, but I will." He looked challengingly at Alex, who remained silent, so he continued.

"First, let's review the clothes you ordered today." Clarissa started pushing images of the clothes Alex had ordered onto the screen, large images appearing before each seat. Chris fiddled with a tablet, and the clothing became smaller, arranged on a grid so he could see everything at once. He studied them together, enlarging some momentarily, pairing others until he finally swiped them away, leaving a blank screen.

"None of those will do; cancel all the orders."

Alex blanched, "You can't do that; I already bought them."

Jae corrected her, "We only ordered them, and most co-ops require confirmation a few days later before actually manufacturing anything. Almost everything is assembled to order. It cuts down on wasted material and time. It's easier on everyone, and if you choose not to confirm an order, a small service fee is deducted to compensate the co-op's time."

Clarissa chimed in, "Alex, I told Chris he could do this. I knew we'd need him today; please give him a chance. I trust him."

Alex considered for a while, looking at each of them in turn. She finally nodded and looked at Chris, "Okay, I've wasted the morning; now what?"

"I wouldn't say wasted, Alex; looking at the items you chose helps me understand you. For instance, everything we saw on the screen was bought for one of your jobs, right? But do they match who you are? What are you trying to say with these? Nothing interesting, that's for sure. Where are the personal clothes? The ones saying, 'I'm Alex?' Who are you trying to please with these clothes, Alex? Certainly not yourself."

"I don't know what I want to say to people professionally, only personally. But I couldn't find anything I felt comfortable with." Alex paused, "I don't even know how to say it without sounding stupid; Nothing in these shops resonated with me."

Chris leaned back in his chair, his hands steepling before him." Okay, now we come to the issue: who is Alex, the person deep down, and what do you want to reflect to others when they see you? Forget about your hair, face, or anything else. The essential Alex, who is she?"

Alex sat there quietly and then began to speak slowly and almost hypnotically. "Who is the essential Alex? Someone human, first and foremost, a neighbor, someone you can like and even possibly trust. While she's never going to be warm and bubbly, she's compassionate, someone who can understand where you are in the moment." She looked around at everyone in the circle. "I know those parts of me aren't always apparent, but I'd like them to be."

Chris leaned forward, "Alex, none of the clothes you chose this morning reflect anything you just told us. Those clothes told me you were just playing at looking professional without the ability to make it stick. Tell me, how much space do you need between work and personal clothing?"

Jae offered, "We haven't decided on any differences in her clothing. We were thinking of adding a small insignia pattern on a scarf or band for her to wear to indicate whether she is working."

Alex asked, "But wouldn't it be easier for everyone if I differentiated my working clothes from what I wear on my own time?"

Chris exploded, "No, of course it wouldn't. And you shouldn't. You are Alexandra, the Face of the Foundation; what better face to wear than your whole unapologetic self? It's a message you can send through the habitats in a way no one else can; the message that everyone can always express themselves through their clothing without worrying about what anyone else thinks. It matters what you think and feel and choose, and by such a simple act, you'll encourage everyone to dress in the way they love. Now that's an example I can get behind."

He asked for Alex's measurements to be transferred over, went through his tablet and brought up a range of items onto the screen one at a time, each transposed onto another faceless mannequin with Alex's skin tone and proportions. "Clarissa told me about your temperature and texture issues. I'm not willing to dismiss constructed textiles completely, but we can line them with softer material."

He brought up a pair of lightly draped palazzo-style pants and paired it with what looked to be a wispy, soft and loosely constructed open-work crocheted sweater with a low and curving neck. The arms and hem mimicked each other, falling slightly lower in the back as they draped down. The sleeves in front ended at the top of the mannequin's forearm, behind, they ended a few inches above the inside of the wrists. A thin shirt glowed out from underneath the cream-colored sweater in an amethyst jewel tone; the patterns of the sweater swirled on the shirt, creating interesting effects back onto the sweater itself. As Jae watched, he changed the pattern slightly and changed the colors and the pattern. The sweater changed to a dusky blue, complimented by the light cream of the thin shirt underneath. It ended up looking completely different with each pattern and color change.

"I like it," Alex said, "both colors and patterns."

"I thought you might," Chris said, "The sweater adds just enough weight to give others the impression of warmth, which should stand in for compassion, and paired with the soft pants, brings you into a comfortable presence without being flitty. It's a good start. We can limit the number of individual items right now but pair each with multiple colors and designs. You'll probably need to invest in a more sophisticated PTI; you'll use it often. We can bring in multiple patterns and colors in clothing layers, swapping pieces in and out; you'll never need to wear the exact same outfit should you choose. We'll start with the basics: a few tops, dusters, pants and skirts to get you through the next few months. Consider anything we find soon to be a placeholder. Once you have time to breathe, we can start adding new items as we find them, just a few at a time."

"How are we going to do this?" Alex asked. "I have to be honest; I don't have much free time to spend a day shopping. I also don't think I can go into most of those stores on my own." She laughed thinly, "I had a rather traumatic experience the first time, and I doubt I can persuade anyone to come with me as often as I'll need to." She told Chris the story of her first shopping trip.

Chris smiled, "It's okay, Alex. Take a breath. We'll help you with every step; you only have to work with me and my partners. I know most of the co-ops in this section who'll have samples you'll like, and I'll reach out to the other sections, too." His smile broadened, "I must tell you I'll be contacting the co-op you just mentioned. I know the storekeeper and well, he does tend to fall back on his native language when he's upset or startled. And he was definitely startled by the way he told it. I can attest it is quite the experience to be in the room with him when he gets going. I can also tell you his partner is an excellent designer, and neither is the type to hold a grudge." Chris leaned back, hands loosely in his lap, his eyes twinkling in the light.

Alex didn't say a word.

"I'll bring the samples here, and we can run through try-ons and fittings quickly. I'll have design suggestions, either theirs or our own, for you when we decide which ones you'll choose. We can schedule times convenient for both of us. Once you're fitted, we can ask for rushes on a few pieces, one from each co-op and start getting your closet filled."

Jae saw Alex sag back in the chair as if relieved. "It's apparent this won't be something we do once. How about in the future? Oh, and I insist on transferring a service fee over for this. You might have taken this on for a friend, but I'd like to ensure we treat it as part of your services. Everyone deserves compensation."

Chris nodded, "I appreciate the offer, Alex, and yes, we can work on a service fee basis. I'll figure out a rate to charge, and we can negotiate moving forward. After a few times, I'll be able to figure out what works for you, and I can request samples and designs. Once you trust me, except for coming in for fittings, the clothes will just be delivered to you. The more trust on your part, the less time you'll have to spend on finding and buying clothing."

The four sat there for the next few hours, looking at images, calling in samples and fitting them onto Alex. Jae noticed how Chris added a color or pattern to each to help Alex visualize the outfit. Chris requested the samples and assured Alex they could assemble enough clothing for for her to easily move through the next few weeks. He would make sure to have enough patterns and colors so she would feel she had a varied wardrobe. Each piece reflected Alex's preferences: simple lines, soft, somehow exuding the warmth and compassion she wanted to bring out.

Jae remembered the occasion clothes they would need. She made a mental note to figure out how Alex would cover the cost of everything or if she even should. But right now, Jae was happy. What had started very badly ended up going as well as she could ever have hoped.