I don't know when anyone will read anything I've written—long after I'm dead, I suppose. So, I guess a small explanation is in order.
I wrote these stories and edited some of the conversations I've been a part of in the hopes that my recollections and my words, poor as they may be, would be read by those who might also gain the same experiences and realizations as I had when I first heard the tales. From my time to yours, I wish to share the understanding that comes to light from the puzzle pieces laid before us. That's my hope, anyway. It's what has led me to capture what was told to me and try, in my poor way, to shape them into stories I could someday share. Some I give as they were told, others I bring into the framework of my life. These stories are our history and, for me personally, the beginnings of my life moving from despair to joy, something I never dreamed possible. This story represents both the beginning and the end. As this tale documents the start of my journey, so shall this commentary be the last I shall ever write. Alpha and Omega.
This story begins when I proceeded off a cliff without caring where it took me. The day when, out of despair, I took a step, and through that simple act, I met Alexandra Hanlon. And my life changed.
We've known her for five generations. Through all twenty Habitats scattered underground, thousands of miles between, we all know her as 'The Alexandra'. She's been a constant presence in our lives even before the Catastrophe laid waste to Earth's surface before we became the last remnant of humanity.
For most of those generations, we have known her in the same way and for the same things, it's a distant yet enduring relationship with most of us only knowing her through the mask of her many roles. We know her as the Face of the Foundation, the one member of the Foundation Board who carries the concerns of all the people in every habitat, unlike her fellow board members who, by virtue of where they live, carry only the concerns of their home habitats. In this role, she communicates what the Board is working on and any policies it recommends to Habitat Governance. It's always an event when she gives the annual account to everyone through video synced so that we can experience it together, united in time even though we are far apart. She speaks of the past year's accomplishments and the coming year's priorities for all the habitats based on recommendations from SIGs and approved through the channels. And she always, for the last 150 years, always speaks to the possibilities of when humanity might return to the surface.
She still runs the Liaison Organization as the only director they've ever had. She is the most influential person in all the habitats. And, since she lives in my home habitat, North America Habitat East, or NAHE as it is more commonly known, I have caught occasional glimpses when she conducts her listening tours in person.
She's been a constant in our lives, the touchstone, one of only two people alive who have walked the surface unprotected from the elements. As famous as she is, most of us don't know much about her. We aren't her neighbors or people she regularly sees on Culinary. She's a face on a screen for most of us. So we have no idea who she is while living her ordinary life—a citizen of the habitat with the same rights, responsibilities and obligations we all have.
We know she and her husband (a quaint term meaning male-gendered partner), Kevin, still live at their first home and regularly participate in Community Tasks. They live like everyone else, within the parameters of the Charter, in a way that demonstrates our equal value and worth. Most people know that she and Kevin had met and married (another quaint term meaning becoming partnered) on the surface before moving into NAHE eight years before the Catastrophe. Neither had ever had biological children.
I've also had the privilege of knowing them as Alex and Kevin, one of the few they have counted among a circle of intimates, people with whom they can trust with their unfettered words and stories and, at least with Alex, a warmer personality than she usually presents to those she isn't close with.
I have learned from Alex that each action we take, consciously or unconsciously, reverberates far beyond ourselves. To choose an action is to affect the universe itself. Alex calls those "nudges." These small acts guide the path of humanity. Who we choose to be and actually become can and will affect humanity's journey and our own. The choices and actions of the past combine in our memories as a single step. But in our present, she reminds me that the choice and the act are distinct steps, and while they usually align, there have been times when the choices and acts available to us at the moment clash with our most essential instinct, preserving the species and ourselves. Those are the times of chaos when even hope might be lost.
By recognizing that each choice we make could impact society, does not every choice matter? Each choice leads to a new journey. Each journey begins with a single step.
I certainly didn't know what would happen when I made the choice I did. A decision I would never have arrived at were it not for the grief of losing my life partner, Cindy. Even two years after her death, the pain I felt was as sharp and fresh as the first day I spent without her. I wasn't able to move past my grief no matter how much I wanted to, not even with all the therapy and support the habitat provided to me as a matter of course. I had isolated myself, and I knew no one would mourn me if I were gone. So, I took what felt to be the next logical step. I volunteered for a mission I knew nothing about other than its name and that it was deemed to be very risky.
A few years before I retired to look after Cindy, I came across information having to do with seeking volunteers for a risky mission. That and the name were all I knew. But after the last two years of this unrelenting grief, I knew I had to do something. Anything was better than continuing the way I had been, even death. I found myself hoping that whatever this project entailed, it could snap me away from the abyss I was constantly staring into and either point me toward a satisfying and happy life or end all of it forever.
But who benefitted most from my participation, all of humanity or myself? While I only played a small part in the overall project, Alex has assured me it was a significant step and one that all of humanity will benefit from for the rest of our existence. But participating in that project, as important as it might be in the future, most assuredly wasn't physically affecting anyone during my lifetime. My volunteering brought me to the attention of Alex and her husband, Kevin; my association with the two of them and the family they gathered around has enriched the last twenty years of my life. Our relationship has been as strong as the one I had with my first partner, Cindy, and my current partner, Renee. It’s been a relationship that has been emotional and mental but no less intense for lack of an intimate physical connection. Kevin and I enjoyed going to sporting events, concerts and other entertainment venues incognito. Very few people ever recognized Kevin when he wasn’t with Alex. He could participate fully in habitat life when we went somewhere far more easily than he ever could when recognized with Alex.
She and I shared a love of art, music, books, and discussions. She told me how she came to the Habitat and what had happened to and around her during and after those critical times. I studied the history of her youth to make sense of the world she was talking about before the Catastrophe. It helped me place a context around the stories she told, and I hope it does the same for anyone reading these.
She wanted to explain why the people recruited into the Habitats decided to live underground, some for decades longer than necessary. She spoke fondly of the people she worked with and how far we've come because of the work they helped facilitate. Her stories link the people who first signed the Charter to us, the foundational rights and responsibilities enshrined in its words, and the principles we've derived from it. To tell us of the work done to ensure the Charter was interpreted fairly and through a wide lens. She explained what changed and how humanity as a whole is consciously working to evolve in ways that align with the spirit of the Charter. I still wonder if we can fully dampen the instincts that caused the barbarism pitting humans against each other, but she has confidence we can, and I draw my optimism from her.
Kevin didn’t tell me as many stories, but the ones he did tell tended to focus on the more social aspects of our habitat. Kevin was more extroverted than Alex but had never been comfortable going to an event or venue alone. So, just as I was one of those companions for him, he told me stories of what he and other companions had explored through the years.
Alex came into NAHE unsure about her ability to do the work she was brought in for and questioned her suitability. Once she accepted the position, she acknowledged hoping for a chance to connect with people in a way she hadn't seemed to be able to accomplish during her life on the surface. It turned out that the job and her wish were in direct conflict from the very beginning. She made the choices she did not for power or authority but to keep to her oaths. Her focus at the beginning was understandably on the task at hand, working to prepare the people in all the habitats to survive and even thrive should the worst outcome happen.
Even though Alex’s job as Director of Habitat Liaisons immediately catapulted her into one of the most influential positions in all the habitats, she still wanted to be a regular community member. Unfortunately for her, that option was lost after the Catastrophe. She was the Face of the Foundation, the one who mocked and held what she termed the MAGA-Congress people up for ridicule in a way that everyone, above and below in the entire world, was able to watch in real-time and; because of that, became aware of the disaster looming ahead of them. She had been the one to conduct the inter-habitat grieving ritual afterward, a trusted and compassionate face to turn toward. She confided in me that she had known after that she would be catapulted back to where she had felt she had been most of her life, on the outside looking in.
Soon after, they "came down," as Alex called it; she and Kevin began gathering people they felt comfortable with around them. At first, those consisted of the older people Kevin had met early on and those she gathered as she tried to restart her Witches Head Tradition, the Wiccantradition of which she was a high Sacerdote. This group of older and younger members joined into what eventually became known as Heart Families. This extended familial unit supported each other in all the ways as a familial unit connected by birth. These were the people Alex trusted and with whom she could just be herself. She had always done better in smaller groups of people, though, so even within that family were the ones she was most intimate with, those with whom she could be just Alex.
I met my current partner Renee through Alex and Kevin, and I’m grateful every day for her love and companionship. I hope that I’ve given the same to her. I also maintained a relationship with Alex and Kevin; we considered the three of us partners in a relationship of trust and honesty. They told stories, and I asked them to record them. After a while, they gave me blanket permission but didn’t want to know. I took to carrying a digital voice recorder I could turn on surreptitiously.
I was privileged to be in that group, a part of Kevin and Alex’s most intimate of relationships. I hope that I brought joy and companionship to them as well.
Who Benefited the Most?
Brandon Sheehan - August 13, 168
Part of the Five Steps Across the Abyss story.
I don't know when anyone will read anything I've written—long after I'm dead, I suppose. So, I guess a small explanation is in order.
I wrote these stories and edited some of the conversations I've been a part of in the hopes that my recollections and my words, poor as they may be, would be read by those who might also gain the same experiences and realizations as I had when I first heard the tales. From my time to yours, I wish to share the understanding that comes to light from the puzzle pieces laid before us. That's my hope, anyway. It's what has led me to capture what was told to me and try, in my poor way, to shape them into stories I could someday share. Some I give as they were told, others I bring into the framework of my life. These stories are our history and, for me personally, the beginnings of my life moving from despair to joy, something I never dreamed possible. This story represents both the beginning and the end. As this tale documents the start of my journey, so shall this commentary be the last I shall ever write. Alpha and Omega.
This story begins when I proceeded off a cliff without caring where it took me. The day when, out of despair, I took a step, and through that simple act, I met Alexandra Hanlon. And my life changed.
We've known her for five generations. Through all twenty Habitats scattered underground, thousands of miles between, we all know her as 'The Alexandra'. She's been a constant presence in our lives even before the Catastrophe laid waste to Earth's surface before we became the last remnant of humanity.
For most of those generations, we have known her in the same way and for the same things, it's a distant yet enduring relationship with most of us only knowing her through the mask of her many roles. We know her as the Face of the Foundation, the one member of the Foundation Board who carries the concerns of all the people in every habitat, unlike her fellow board members who, by virtue of where they live, carry only the concerns of their home habitats. In this role, she communicates what the Board is working on and any policies it recommends to Habitat Governance. It's always an event when she gives the annual account to everyone through video synced so that we can experience it together, united in time even though we are far apart. She speaks of the past year's accomplishments and the coming year's priorities for all the habitats based on recommendations from SIGs and approved through the channels. And she always, for the last 150 years, always speaks to the possibilities of when humanity might return to the surface.
She still runs the Liaison Organization as the only director they've ever had. She is the most influential person in all the habitats. And, since she lives in my home habitat, North America Habitat East, or NAHE as it is more commonly known, I have caught occasional glimpses when she conducts her listening tours in person.
She's been a constant in our lives, the touchstone, one of only two people alive who have walked the surface unprotected from the elements. As famous as she is, most of us don't know much about her. We aren't her neighbors or people she regularly sees on Culinary. She's a face on a screen for most of us. So we have no idea who she is while living her ordinary life—a citizen of the habitat with the same rights, responsibilities and obligations we all have.
We know she and her husband (a quaint term meaning male-gendered partner), Kevin, still live at their first home and regularly participate in Community Tasks. They live like everyone else, within the parameters of the Charter, in a way that demonstrates our equal value and worth. Most people know that she and Kevin had met and married (another quaint term meaning becoming partnered) on the surface before moving into NAHE eight years before the Catastrophe. Neither had ever had biological children.
I've also had the privilege of knowing them as Alex and Kevin, one of the few they have counted among a circle of intimates, people with whom they can trust with their unfettered words and stories and, at least with Alex, a warmer personality than she usually presents to those she isn't close with.
I have learned from Alex that each action we take, consciously or unconsciously, reverberates far beyond ourselves. To choose an action is to affect the universe itself. Alex calls those "nudges." These small acts guide the path of humanity. Who we choose to be and actually become can and will affect humanity's journey and our own. The choices and actions of the past combine in our memories as a single step. But in our present, she reminds me that the choice and the act are distinct steps, and while they usually align, there have been times when the choices and acts available to us at the moment clash with our most essential instinct, preserving the species and ourselves. Those are the times of chaos when even hope might be lost.
By recognizing that each choice we make could impact society, does not every choice matter? Each choice leads to a new journey. Each journey begins with a single step.
I certainly didn't know what would happen when I made the choice I did. A decision I would never have arrived at were it not for the grief of losing my life partner, Cindy. Even two years after her death, the pain I felt was as sharp and fresh as the first day I spent without her. I wasn't able to move past my grief no matter how much I wanted to, not even with all the therapy and support the habitat provided to me as a matter of course. I had isolated myself, and I knew no one would mourn me if I were gone. So, I took what felt to be the next logical step. I volunteered for a mission I knew nothing about other than its name and that it was deemed to be very risky.
A few years before I retired to look after Cindy, I came across information having to do with seeking volunteers for a risky mission. That and the name were all I knew. But after the last two years of this unrelenting grief, I knew I had to do something. Anything was better than continuing the way I had been, even death. I found myself hoping that whatever this project entailed, it could snap me away from the abyss I was constantly staring into and either point me toward a satisfying and happy life or end all of it forever.
But who benefitted most from my participation, all of humanity or myself? While I only played a small part in the overall project, Alex has assured me it was a significant step and one that all of humanity will benefit from for the rest of our existence. But participating in that project, as important as it might be in the future, most assuredly wasn't physically affecting anyone during my lifetime. My volunteering brought me to the attention of Alex and her husband, Kevin; my association with the two of them and the family they gathered around has enriched the last twenty years of my life. Our relationship has been as strong as the one I had with my first partner, Cindy, and my current partner, Renee. It’s been a relationship that has been emotional and mental but no less intense for lack of an intimate physical connection. Kevin and I enjoyed going to sporting events, concerts and other entertainment venues incognito. Very few people ever recognized Kevin when he wasn’t with Alex. He could participate fully in habitat life when we went somewhere far more easily than he ever could when recognized with Alex.
She and I shared a love of art, music, books, and discussions. She told me how she came to the Habitat and what had happened to and around her during and after those critical times. I studied the history of her youth to make sense of the world she was talking about before the Catastrophe. It helped me place a context around the stories she told, and I hope it does the same for anyone reading these.
She wanted to explain why the people recruited into the Habitats decided to live underground, some for decades longer than necessary. She spoke fondly of the people she worked with and how far we've come because of the work they helped facilitate. Her stories link the people who first signed the Charter to us, the foundational rights and responsibilities enshrined in its words, and the principles we've derived from it. To tell us of the work done to ensure the Charter was interpreted fairly and through a wide lens. She explained what changed and how humanity as a whole is consciously working to evolve in ways that align with the spirit of the Charter. I still wonder if we can fully dampen the instincts that caused the barbarism pitting humans against each other, but she has confidence we can, and I draw my optimism from her.
Kevin didn’t tell me as many stories, but the ones he did tell tended to focus on the more social aspects of our habitat. Kevin was more extroverted than Alex but had never been comfortable going to an event or venue alone. So, just as I was one of those companions for him, he told me stories of what he and other companions had explored through the years.
Alex came into NAHE unsure about her ability to do the work she was brought in for and questioned her suitability. Once she accepted the position, she acknowledged hoping for a chance to connect with people in a way she hadn't seemed to be able to accomplish during her life on the surface. It turned out that the job and her wish were in direct conflict from the very beginning. She made the choices she did not for power or authority but to keep to her oaths. Her focus at the beginning was understandably on the task at hand, working to prepare the people in all the habitats to survive and even thrive should the worst outcome happen.
Even though Alex’s job as Director of Habitat Liaisons immediately catapulted her into one of the most influential positions in all the habitats, she still wanted to be a regular community member. Unfortunately for her, that option was lost after the Catastrophe. She was the Face of the Foundation, the one who mocked and held what she termed the MAGA-Congress people up for ridicule in a way that everyone, above and below in the entire world, was able to watch in real-time and; because of that, became aware of the disaster looming ahead of them. She had been the one to conduct the inter-habitat grieving ritual afterward, a trusted and compassionate face to turn toward. She confided in me that she had known after that she would be catapulted back to where she had felt she had been most of her life, on the outside looking in.
Soon after, they "came down," as Alex called it; she and Kevin began gathering people they felt comfortable with around them. At first, those consisted of the older people Kevin had met early on and those she gathered as she tried to restart her Witches Head Tradition, the Wiccan tradition of which she was a high Sacerdote. This group of older and younger members joined into what eventually became known as Heart Families. This extended familial unit supported each other in all the ways as a familial unit connected by birth. These were the people Alex trusted and with whom she could just be herself. She had always done better in smaller groups of people, though, so even within that family were the ones she was most intimate with, those with whom she could be just Alex.
I met my current partner Renee through Alex and Kevin, and I’m grateful every day for her love and companionship. I hope that I’ve given the same to her. I also maintained a relationship with Alex and Kevin; we considered the three of us partners in a relationship of trust and honesty. They told stories, and I asked them to record them. After a while, they gave me blanket permission but didn’t want to know. I took to carrying a digital voice recorder I could turn on surreptitiously.
I was privileged to be in that group, a part of Kevin and Alex’s most intimate of relationships. I hope that I brought joy and companionship to them as well.