Noodin Kasabien invited Kevin to go fishing and then invited himself to our home for dinner that night. The presumption wasn’t something I was used to, and I was still unclear how anyone entertained in the habitats. Later, I learned most entertaining was done on the culinary, recreation and entertainment floors; many restaurants on the Culinary floor had private gathering rooms of various sizes. Noodin's presumption eventually turned into our preference; over the years, while we did a lot of typical gatherings in public spaces, I was happiest when we and our chosen family came together in our homes. Gathering with those you love, sharing food, and conversation are among my most precious memories.

Once we were eating, it didn’t take long for me to understand Kevin had mentioned my position and what Noodin was requesting. He had severed relations with his daughter years ago when he was still on the surface over her choosing to love someone of her same gender. After coming here and learning better, he found her on social media and desperately wanted to connect with her, but he refused to do it if he had to lie. While I could understand the reasons for being required to lie, I also, at that moment, understood the toll it was taking on some people.

When we chose to move into the habitat, we weighed the cost of requiring us to lie to our friends and family, and I thought everyone grappled with the same ethical issues. But I hadn't considered the cost to those who hadn't, or others like Noodin, who had severed relationships over attitudes they now realized were outdated and harmful. I could well understand why he wouldn't want to use a lie in an attempt to rebuild a broken relationship. I found myself aching for him, wishing I could promise to fix this and right this obvious wrong and that no one should be required to lie.

But I couldn't. We had signed the Charter, and I took the oath for my position only two days before, rendering me a public official sworn to tell the truth and required to hold secrets by the very same oath. I could choose to say nothing, but only in a way that held back the fact that secrets even existed. I wasn't going to dabble in misdirection or double-speak, either, not because of the Charter or my oath but because of my connection with my primary deity.

Hecate has been a part of my spiritual life since I was just beginning to take my first steps on the path, coming as a surprise guest during a guided meditation. Over the years of my partnership with her, her primary injunction to me has been to 'see yourself with an objective eye'. I have taken it to mean I need to understand the motivations behind my actions and ensure my motivations reflect my ethical structure. To ask myself the hard questions when they diverge, working to be consistent in my reasoning and decisions. Up until we moved, I chose to be open and transparent when answering a question; I didn't want to lie to anyone.

But how could I correlate what I wanted with the fact that much of my job was sensitive and shouldn’t be shared with most people? I decided on a strategy in the months before we moved to NAHE. The first time I had to use it was with Noodin that night, and I hated it. Because the Charter did not forbid lying, only forbidding lies from those in charge or who had the power to sway public opinion. In other words, lying was forbidden when doing so would harm our community. There was no injunction on lying to those not under the Charter, especially to those who could harm us. Politics on the surface above many of our habitats was becoming more unhinged by the year. Truthfulness on the surface was fainter, drowned out by an ever-increasing firehose of lies. (1) Those who were complicit in trying to destroy the underpinnings of our society spread misinformation through as many channels as they could, using psychological methods to hook nominally rational people into zombie-like adherents. (2) I think it made those of us in the habitat at the time even more sensitive to being truthful and honest with each other.

We watched in real time the havoc being inflicted by those in power on the surface who were lying continuously on complicit media sources. As President when the pandemic hit, Donald Trump’s refusal to acknowledge the severity of that pandemic and actively lying about valid treatments was linked to 40% of the deaths during his time in office. (3) He lied because he thought the actual numbers of those sick and dying would hurt his re-election chances. Almost 200,000 people died because of his lies and the reach they were given. Those most devoted to him, who believed the disinformation he and his allies spread, lived in areas with far higher rates of death than those who chose to decide and act on the facts.(4) To expose our existence to those on the surface who became more radicalized by the year? We couldn't afford to be honest.  As a community, most of us choose to be truthful with our words, and those in public spaces must be impeccable. But the disconnect between not lying to those in the habitats while forcing lies on those on the surface was emotionally problematic, to say the least.

The Foundation Board never relaxed the rule, but they did decide when the time for secrecy had ended, and we came out to the surface world; those down here should be able to choose to be truthful with those on the surface. It was a compromise, but at least people were able to be honest in the end.