I met Noodin Kasabien a day after Ally and I moved into NAHE. We became friends and then family. When we met, he introduced himself to me as a member of the Chippewa tribe, part of the indigenous people who roamed the land before humans learned to cross the sea. Once travel by sea was possible and the land was settled by those from the European continent, to say they were mistreated is putting it mildly.

The Foundation tried to find and save people from as many cultures as possible. A focus for the habitats of North America was recruiting those who descended from the indigenous inhabitants of this continent. It was a difficult group to recruit from; they were people connected to the land, sky and water around them. Deciding to leave the surface to live underground, possibly for generations, wasn’t always easy. Noodin was proud of his tribe and the fact he had been born on tribal lands. He sat many times to record his language, remembrances and memories of his culture for the archives.

Even though we lived in different parts of the country in entirely different cultures, we were raised around the same time and were exposed to many of the same concepts of what it meant to be male. At least in the United States, almost anything outside the mainstream was considered shameful in the 1950s and most of the 1960s. Anyone with a penis was always understood to be male, and anyone born with a vulva was always female, regardless of any genetic inconsistencies. Society expected and decreed everyone should dress and behave in ways conforming to their assigned gender. (1) Back then, anything other than sexual attraction between a male and a female under those definitions was considered deviant behavior and deserving of punishment. (2) For those like myself, designated male, our role models taught us how to behave through their behavior. We learned to rarely show deep emotion other than anger or contempt except when within our immediate family; even then, our gentlest emotions were reserved only for the female we expected to bond with and our children. (3) We were also taught friendships between men were only expressed through mutual interests like sports, politics, or the pursuit of money and power. The result for me and so of the men of my generation meant there wasn’t much room for showing my gentler emotions, except when I was with Ally. It was oppressive compared to how we live now. But even when we began living in NAHE, I didn’t know any other way of being.

Even then, it took time to begin to understand how badly society on the surface had shaped me and even longer to work on changing my behaviors. Unlearning the crap lessons we were exposed to, both spoken and modeled, is hard. I don't want the children born now to do the same unpacking and struggle as I had to. Even if I couldn't change what I felt, I could change what the kids saw, so I did the work and encouraged others to do the same.

I don't want our kids in the habitats unknowingly conflicted by the contrast between what we teach them and the attitudes and subtle actions we expose them to. And Noodin wasn't just beside me for this part; he was the person who called me out on my actions and led the charge to expose the need and so began the first attempts toward what we now call directed social evolution.