I wasn't around when Ally and Louis met. While he lived in our village, I was living another life.
No matter how completely you love another person, retaining your own sense of self is a necessity. We all need experiences outside the cocoon we weave around our partnerships. It was the same for Ally and me, especially once we realized our lives could last longer than anyone had ever imagined.
These separate life experiences became necessary elements of our partnership. Being Ally's husband is my privilege, but living around everything surrounding her can be overwhelming, and we both know I sometimes feel like I'm living an extension of her life instead of my own.
She would be the first to acknowledge that while I thrive when I'm in a close and loving relationship, I don't do well living on my own. Even in the before times, she told me that if something were to happen to her, she wanted me to find someone else to share a life with. I'm lucky; Ally's never been a jealous person, unlike me. I've learned to deal with my jealous feelings over the years by asking questions only when I sincerely want an honest answer, because Ally will always tell me the truth.
Once we realized our lives would be extended, we discussed what it meant for our relationship and how it might affect our love for each other. We knew that as long as there was honesty, trust, and our deep commitment to each other, Ally and I could spend time apart, keeping our love strong.
Our love resembles a flame, lit when its proper fuel is available. While a flame's fuel is physical, our love is fueled by trust, commitment and shared experiences. Like a flame, our love can also be shared. No matter how many share its spark, our original flame continues to burn, even as the newly kindled flames find their own intensity. Flames and love cannot die as long as they can find the necessary fuel to sustain themselves.
So, every once in a while, I choose to experience other lifetimes with other partners. In turn, I gain experiences that help me adjust to the ways humanity changes around Ally and me. Even though these changes take a long time, every generation adds its flavor to the whole.
I'll meet someone I'm drawn to and live a life with them, experiencing all the relationship has to offer as we love and age together through the years. I’m accepted into my partner's existing family structure and their society as an equal, tasking, celebrating, and grieving together as healthy communities do.
And after the last mourning, even as I maintain contact with those I continue to love, I return to Ally, who always welcomes and rejuvenates me, listening as I share what I choose and answering any questions I might have for her. Slowly, we slide back into our comfortable relationship, sustaining each other until once again, I feel a need for new experiences.
So, of course, I knew about Louis. Once I returned and Ally and I caught each other up on the outlines of the years we had spent apart; his name came up frequently. However, I only became aware of his writing recently.
But I knew nothing of Arthur Mills before his actions brought him to the attention of the entire habitat. Ally had never discussed him with me, not that I would have known to ask. It was shocking to read how she'd met him years before his attempt on her life.
Living Other Lives
Kevin Hanlon - Kevin Hanlon: April 3, 861 (E. 3050 ac)
Part of the A Discordant Note story.
I wasn't around when Ally and Louis met. While he lived in our village, I was living another life.
No matter how completely you love another person, retaining your own sense of self is a necessity. We all need experiences outside the cocoon we weave around our partnerships. It was the same for Ally and me, especially once we realized our lives could last longer than anyone had ever imagined.
These separate life experiences became necessary elements of our partnership. Being Ally's husband is my privilege, but living around everything surrounding her can be overwhelming, and we both know I sometimes feel like I'm living an extension of her life instead of my own.
She would be the first to acknowledge that while I thrive when I'm in a close and loving relationship, I don't do well living on my own. Even in the before times, she told me that if something were to happen to her, she wanted me to find someone else to share a life with. I'm lucky; Ally's never been a jealous person, unlike me. I've learned to deal with my jealous feelings over the years by asking questions only when I sincerely want an honest answer, because Ally will always tell me the truth.
Once we realized our lives would be extended, we discussed what it meant for our relationship and how it might affect our love for each other. We knew that as long as there was honesty, trust, and our deep commitment to each other, Ally and I could spend time apart, keeping our love strong.
Our love resembles a flame, lit when its proper fuel is available. While a flame's fuel is physical, our love is fueled by trust, commitment and shared experiences. Like a flame, our love can also be shared. No matter how many share its spark, our original flame continues to burn, even as the newly kindled flames find their own intensity. Flames and love cannot die as long as they can find the necessary fuel to sustain themselves.
So, every once in a while, I choose to experience other lifetimes with other partners. In turn, I gain experiences that help me adjust to the ways humanity changes around Ally and me. Even though these changes take a long time, every generation adds its flavor to the whole.
And after the last mourning, even as I maintain contact with those I continue to love, I return to Ally, who always welcomes and rejuvenates me, listening as I share what I choose and answering any questions I might have for her. Slowly, we slide back into our comfortable relationship, sustaining each other until once again, I feel a need for new experiences.
So, of course, I knew about Louis. Once I returned and Ally and I caught each other up on the outlines of the years we had spent apart; his name came up frequently. However, I only became aware of his writing recently.
But I knew nothing of Arthur Mills before his actions brought him to the attention of the entire habitat. Ally had never discussed him with me, not that I would have known to ask. It was shocking to read how she'd met him years before his attempt on her life.